In my current ongoings, I had a conversation with a health professional that evaluated the work of another health professional. The issue was of a prejudice around the sexes. One good thing about doing well in the English language, communication, and psychology classes is gaining the ability to engineer, and reverse engineer the written, spoken, and read word, much in the way art history classes help one pull apart the works long ago done, up to the latest releases and decipher the meaning in them.
The exact phrase in question, and I am quoting here is: “…[the adult] could have made better choices.”
If you needed do everything you could via the written word to describe someone you clearly wanted to benefit in a given situation your words have weight one, but that person had done some really bad things, what better description could you apply then the one above? It removes ownership and liability from the writer of those words, and at the same time, identifies the actions, and intentions of the sentence’s subject as nothing more than simply imperfect.
In effect, this statement applies to every single action and decision every organism makes every single day of life, and when applied, is meaningless. You can see an example below, by the great comedian George Carlin. You can skip to 1:16 if you want to see the specific example, but if you are at all interested in the English language, this eleven minute clip is simply fantastic. When Carlin’s observations here are applied to my issue, I’m dealing with a health professional who was given text, video, and audio recordings of some bad behavior of another person, and that was the sentence which was derived from it, “..could have made better situations.” As all humans are infallible, the person was making a professional declaration of…. Well….. nothing.
Needless to say, this had not gone unnoticed by me, and as it negatively affected some people I care about, will not go unaddressed.
The above is something that affected my kids in an auxiliary capacity. I had always been a zealot for their wellbeing, but with a divorce, the access to them changes for all. What does not change is the sense of duty, and desire to better the lives of one’s offspring. With the distance and time issues now present, I used considerable resources to put assists in place to make up for what they lost in their protection.
Long story short, child abusers, both the non sexual type, and the sexual type faced a safer situation if encountering law enforcement and the court/correctional system, than with me if their eyes set in the same direction of my kids. Now, I have to do whatever I can to make my kids stronger about facing this evil when they are not with me, as their other parent has made people of low character the adults surrounding my kids.
So, the most powerful muscle, the most powerful weapon I can use/give my kids is not made of iron, nor the strength of a hundred men…. No, its their brain. How does a divorced parent even begin to tackle this? Well to spare the reader of this any rehashing I could do of solving this problem, or at least addressing it in some way, I turn you over to the Jocko Podcast, something I listen to on a regular basis now:
For those of you who have a thing for poetry, I HIGHLY suggest scrolling to the 1:13:00 mark and listen for a minute two. 😉
So, if you listened to this episode, it starts off with the notion that you may, or may not want to present this information, or this podcast to your child. Good idea, bad idea….? Hey, if you listened to the episode, its pretty clear, that abusers, no matter if they are abusing a child, or an adult they feel they are allowed to abuse, silence protects them. Me, I was a kid, and I like to think looking back, if I was old enough to be learning curse words on the school playground and snickering about it, then I’m old enough to learn how to deal with someone who trying to hurt me.
Could i make a better choice? Of course, but right now, I don’t see it, and this one seems like a pretty good way to start this subject, and arm my kids with +1 armor from scumbags.